possible thanks to Chris Lee

itsbeensurreal.com phogger.com 宁好 currently in Nanjing, China joey@itsbeensurreal.com +86 1377 032 5828 blood type A Taurus at the moment .. . "Part A" Depeche Mode DJ Krush Massive Attack Nanjing Red Lucky Strike Sprite Arrowhead Columbian graduate thesis paper job hunting Lothings LOTA X

. 星期二 2oo8年 3月 25日 14:55 // Its Been Surreal I started Phogger during my time back in the States; Irvine, California, to be more precise.  Before then, I had barely gotten used to dial-up or even to AOL's fiendish plots to avoid account cancelation (I love you Philip), all the while other people were starting firms and building empires, ruling men and conquering gods.  It wasn't until the cosmos set me up with my brother Chris Lee that I said "hello" to the "world."  Just the whole realm of blogging on the world wide web .. I felt like a child.  It was momentous.  I remember eventually coming across Blogger.com and thinking whoa .. what an amazing feat.  Changing the world has never been easier. Where or even why I bought a camera is beyond me.  I think it was just because, for reasons which I will not reveal now, my memory was shot like those guilty of treason.  And I think I was doing awesome things almost on a daily basis: making amazing friends and really, experiencing things that needed to be documented.  Somehow I ended up searching for a photo version of Blogger, hoping I could achieve the same ends with images that I originally did with text.  And maybe after having a few red plastic cups (God, I miss Villa Siena sometimes, all the booze and the Tampico), I kind of spewed out the first ideas of a photo blog and with the coding help of then-roommate Michael Cadiz, eventually giving birth to Phogger.  (I remember American-Gladiatoring with myself over the name: should it be Phogger or Phlogger).  And it wasn't until years later that I found out, maybe I had coined the term (but I seriously doubt it, it's not ground-breaking or anything). Eventually, I moved to Nanjing and Phogger just exploded with content.  And it was bound to happen; being in what felt like a different universe and meeting new creatures, I was constantly updating my site.  The best was partying with friends until the morning sun tucked me in bed, but not before I uploaded photos from the evening before.  And everyone woke up in the afternoon and recapped online, sometimes realizing for the first time what had happened.  Ultimately, I moved on from my feeble Casio to my current friend, Nikon D70.  And we're still pressing on. Possibly, in all the tens of thousands of photos that I've hoarded, this one is my favorite of local Chinese culture.  Or at least the most memorable.  I remember walking down this street, some drab alley with amazingly colorful people.  This girl was out chillin' on this stank armpit of a summer afternoon in Southern China (it's fuckin' hot here).  So I'm getting ready to bust out my Casio, trying to be all covert like, but she saw me coming .. paused in what I imagined to be a mid-bite, and just stared.  I kept walking and James-Bondly slid out my camera from my right pocket.  I stopped dead in front of her and got my shot, all the while with her staring me down.  It was eerily beautiful. [EDIT] Philip got my letter ( : 星期二 2oo8年 3月 25日 7:08 // Shut Up Thought it would only be fair: I met Ross Doll through Cinder.  She has a last name, but not in this world.  Was on assignment first time I met the morning-breath of a girl.  (awkward pause).  Well, because like morning breath, she's life-alteringly rancid yet just bearable enough to get by.  "Most definitely on uppers," I confided in myself during our first meet.  And I guess ever since then, she's grown on me.  Literally.  "It's like you watched me grow all these years."  Ever since I came to Nanjing, which was four years ago, about .. Cinder's been keeping me in check, and I her.  Her mouth can be the devil at times and her wit just as keen.  Her hobbies include verbally kicking in your knee caps, tug-of-waring your senses until you achieve vertigo, having contagious seizures out on dance floors, and completely misleading the world into thinking she's insincere and insensitively in-your-face.  One of the most chaotically human and tender experiences that I've shared with her is absolutely one she will force herself to forget. Incidentally, some people have been inquiring about my mugshot.  It was drawn free-hand by my friend Racy, from the original image posted above.  Indeed. 星期二 2oo8年 3月 24日 3:57 // Zen I met Ross Doll through, at least what some people in my line of work would consider, "a friend."  And I can only say that I loosely use the quotation marks only because I strongly believe some individuals in this world should consider who in their intimate circle of friends to be true friends.  I know all too well that having certain relationships can either illuminate or flatten a person.  Its just sad and totally expected that some people lose focus of what's important.  Having said that .. Ross is bitchin'!  Currently English Editor of MAP, Ross is like the third person who I've met who I just want to hurricanely embrace 'cause he's so genuine and overall badass.  He gives off this homecoming/tailgate-party feeling, like he's the quarterback showing the junior varsity team a good time .. to me at least.  A quick-minded soulful person, I feel.  Nanjing is sure to benefit greatly from this Seattle native. In light of recent events involving Tibet and other political endeavors, I think some foreigners are on edge being here in China.  A friend of mine was telling me about our mutual foreign friend and how she's having problems renewing her visa.  "I told her to just marry her Chinese boyfriend," he exclaimed.  "That'll set things right."  You know somethings happening in this world when foreigners in China marry a local solely for citizenship, especially since we've seen the other way around happen so often. For the two people who regularly visit this site .. first off, I commend you for being so consistently disappointed by the lack of content ) : I lower my head and can only promise I will try not to let you down again.  And if you've been keeping up with Phogger, you should know I went out with some super professional photographers for a fun sweaty day of shooting.  It was like eating those devilishly sour gumballs; this delightful torture that I couldn't get enough of.  These people are so great at what they do but its so laughable sometimes.  At any rate, it was a pleasant experience and I can only hope they wouldn't mind having me around again next time (and I only say this because I think majority of the time, I messed up their vibe with my incessant shooting.) 星期二 2oo8年 3月 21日 13:32 // Attempt Can't exactly say I'm completely satisfied with how things have been turning out lately.  What, with a successfully unsuccessful Spring Festival and all.  But, back in Nanjing now, and once again, losing myself in what seems to be important.  And will try and make more of a conscious effort to update this site from time to time.  I know no one comes, but that's never truly been the case either way.  Max S. Gerber says about a fellow photographer, "i’m forced to write about it here because jonathan’s blog doesn’t accept comments. that’s because it’s not for you. it’s for him. which is part of what makes it so great." Photographed here is Amy, a very dear friend of my mom's.  For close to six years, I've tried to keep my photo blog apart from text blog.  Well, I've changed my mind.  Partly for myself .. and partly for Mikko. . 星期二 2oo8年 1月 1日 11:23 // Ying and Yang         "ダカフェ日記"         "A Notebook And Portfolio"         "Strangers, be not."         "This is our story"         Traveler II Eerily, I see myself doing the same thing when I have children; enjoy his photos.  Joon Ian: massively knowledgeable and quite the looker.  Bend your knees and breathe what Andrew breathes.  That is their story, truly; become a part of it.  Lost in Africa but yet lives again. The mark of a new year.  With it comes new challenges and horizons, past traveled roads and paths planned ahead, forgotten fossils beneath fresh soil, the taste of tears in my smile.  Wishing you all an eventful and efficient new year.  May it bring you what you need to do in order to do what you want to do. And stay tuned, www.phogger.com will hopefully be pressin' on.  Thanks to my man Thomas Moon for the awesome addition. . 星期四 2oo7年 6月 27日 16:21 // "The Duality of Man"         "Previously on 24 ..."         Tuzki (兔斯基)         七五刺青         "thick as thieves"         Nanjing, Nanjing 24 has had this tightening grip on me for years.  My teeth hurt even at the slightest mention of Nina Myers, Jack and Kim Bauer, Chloe .. anyways, so these Chuck Norris facts came about.  And now, you can enjoy the same of Jack Bauer. Those Tuzki rabbits are awesome 'cause they hit home (I have a pet rabbit and I will hurt when she dies).  Thanks to Heidi < Glen. Support Gao Feng (高蜂) and his tattoo shop.  Buddy hooked me up and Im happy with the results. And dont forget Joey Remmers.  Beautifully talented, with an adorable son.  He did my first and probably will do again.  His link is above, check it out; hes got shows all the time. And see how close Nanjing brings us to the stars. New Clustr Map at www.phogger.com.  Check the archives for older ones. So this avalanche of shits thats been coming onto me made me gear towards something Ive never done before.  Growing up, my mother constantly sought Chinese fortune tellers who would shower her with wisdom and snip-its of the future.  She would come home and tell me all about it .. what I should do, shouldnt do, who this what that where when somewhere how now more less yes no in out.  I never really thought anything of it, just let it ride out.  But recently, this uncontrollable urge developed and so .. I had to see "someone." The alley was as dark as Death Himself, though the full moon was a blaze.  My roommate Rich took me to see this man.  We finally found the metal door to his home and entered what felt like a cave.  The man was blind and so was his wife.  He instructed me sit as he made his way over from across the room.  After telling him my birthday (month, day, year, time) his milky eyes shot back and forth while mysterious demonic hymns came from out his thick throat past these blistering lips.  My heart had reached maximum occupancy, there was such a rush in me.  "The fuck IS this," I thought. He stopped finally .. and said a slew of things I couldnt really make out.  Rich was busy jotting down things he said and would end up later translating most of the things that I had to know.  Apparently, lucks been toying with me and will indeed turn the tide later this year.  He says to me, "You should get into design, like drawing or photography."  Must be a coincidence.  "Or, youll someday soon become great with management."  Does he know me?  "A doctor, perhaps.  But definitely a teacher."  O_O Could never really explain these fortune teller types.  Cant say definitively, believe or disbelieve.  But you gotta admit, its just eerie, some of the things that occur.  This guy was even had enough of a premonition to tell me things like ... in the year 2014, X month, N day, whatever time .. be sure to stay indoors! Anyways, he goes on more by telling me about future relationships, marriage, wah wahh.  He also says Ive made it past the Fire and Water stage.  Meaning, Ive been burned or nearly drowned.  Trippy thing is, that same day, at work, I told my students the drowning story back in Hemet, when I fell into this hot tub of green swamp water and almost saw the end of my youthful days when an old and monstrous hand pulled me out of certain death.  Sigh.  And so, that is that. Moved, recently.  New apartment, not so new beginning. Been really torn in two, lately.  Maybe even three or four.  As of now, things may turn towards Taipei, Taiwan.  More on that later .. if I even feel like disclosing. Brother from the past .. spilled the greatest news Ive heard in a long while.  Proposed to his lady friend during an Impromptu show.  Hah, the irony.  I love you both and wish you immaculate days ahead (with my occasional visiting, of course). Becky, Chris, Chris, C, Esther, Patrick, LT .. Drone, drone, drone ... . ... .. . 星期四 2oo7年 6月 14日 05:03 // Attraction         Happy Father's Day, LT         "Road of Death"         "America 1940s"         "我是你爸爸"         "Disneyland is too far"         "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings" Pirates of the Caribbean, midnight showing.  Watched it and thought nothing of it.  Heres a brief conversation with my good friend, Zhou JIng (周静):         me: Pirates of the Caribbean .. midnight showing .. tonight .. SUCKER!         ZJ: Ive never seen it.         ZJ: Ivenever seen any star wars,         ZJ: spiderman         ZJ: henry potter ** (she said HENRY potter)         ZJ: harry potter?         ZJ: so no big surprise. Before the film, the previews were rolled and I lost my mind.  I am only certain of one thing: Michael Bay brings explosions of grandeur to any and all films he has contact with.  And since growing up with Transformers on daily .. it should be devastating how rad this will be. That Father's Day clip up top is Racy's fancy up-all-night doing. Earlier tonight, met with my friend Liu Wei (刘伟).  She gave me this luck charm bracelet type thing since lately, things havent been all too smooth.  Not sure if itll have any effect, but its a pleasant gift from a dear friend, nonetheless ( : Ive been tweaking around with Wordpress these days, trying to set up some commenting system with this blog.  Cannot get it right for the life of me.  Anyone wanna step up and just .. do it for me?  I need the help 'cause its just not working on my end.  And already, Im reconsidering; what's so good about having comments anyways ( : Email exchange with Philip has lead me to this: attraction is a fact.  Whether it be to our interest or something we steer clear from, it is boundless and kneels to no control.  So embrace it .. and press on. Its 5:03AM .. I can barely make out the sunrise. [EDIT] I just tried to leave my room .. locked inside.  Had to tear down my door and knob .. again. Thats twice this year.  This is just the kind of small shits thats been hittin' me these days.  Bring it, cosmos.  Im tired and ready for your fuckin' smut. . 星期五 2oo7年 6月 8日 11:14 // Balance         "Rebirth"         "can you be the one we need?" Philip Choi is back; check it up top.  And thanks to my friend Jer, Ive discovered a new television series.  Do yourself a favor.  Heroes .. its hit me .. hard .. on so many levels.  And recently took a trip to a beach city.  Updates at www.phogger.com. Wall after wall of shit has been coming on lately.  Its numbing.  But .. bring it, man; Im ready. "Balance" has been on my mind these days.  And everything seems to be falling into place in accordance with whats balancing and what toppling.  Top/bottom, left/right, right/wrong, in/out .. this force or energy thats taken hold .. its maddening.  Cant explain it, really; just a gut sense, if its anything at all. Watch "Heroes" and read Brave New World .. again. . 星期四 2oo7年 5月 31日 00:42 // WHAT!         ダカフェ日記         From Monument To Masses Been feelin' this lately: "dont give a fuck WHAT people think."  Word.  I do what needs to be done, maintain what needs to be held, sacrifice what needs to be given.  And I really dont care what you think. That Japanese link above is awesome; can really tell he loves his family.  Already know Ill do the same some day.  Phog 'em til death do us part, no joke.  And look at the earlier photos, mostly of his wife.  Truly can tell he hurts, he loves her so much.  Want that.  And yet another FMTM link.  Do yourselves a favor. So, yes.  Wanted to take a time-out from my thesis and post.  Listening to Cursive at the moment; they move me in strange ways.  Have an exciting weekend coming up.  Hope the photos will reflect.  Also have some MAP photos coming out soon.  More on that later. . 星期四 2oo7年 5月 24日 06:28 What's with not knowing anything concrete about someone, never even face-to-faced before .. but fuck it, I would Die for this someone.  Or Im just dying to meet them.  Either way, its a strange feeling, something Ive felt many times before. Been working on my graduate thesis paper lately.  Its got installments, meaning .. certain parts are finished first and sent off to my professor for criticism.  Totally retarded, some of the things we're put through.  Initially, I thought some genuine research would be awesome, "pay it forward" kind of awesome.  Turns out most of its just for show.  Never considered myself to be an acrobat .. never done so many tumbles, jumped through so many flaming rings before .. A dear friend of mine whom I highly cherish and respect .. just chatting it up one day, spewed out this .. 从某种意义上来说, 我们在改变世界, 改变着人类文化的抛物线。 所以为自己做的事情, 感到自豪吧。 我们真的会变得很重要, 对这个世界而言。 真的, 做一个优秀的人, 并且让更多的人都同样优秀, 这就是我们要做的。 在这个腐败道德沦丧的年代, 也许宗教会变成我们的战友。 虽然我从来上信他们说的, 但是至少他们教导人去做个好人, 这点大家都是在统一战线上的。 我想该是改变世界的时候了。 Its a bit moving .. and quite hilarious as well. . 星期四 2oo7年 5月 24日 03:11 Know this young woman.  Sitting around one day, listening to five people talking to each other at the same time without breathing.  She pitstops only to say to my face, "you enjoy being abused by others."  This is where I think to myself "maybe shell read this .. dont care."  Still not sure what she meant but I think she really needs to see the world.  Or know that there IS one. Friend of mine comes from a long line of writers in her family.  Both her father and grandfather, for instance .. China is their bitch.  Shes barely crackin' her knuckles. Wonder what the future holds for her. . 星期三 2oo7年 5月 23日 04:58 April third of last year was the last time I posted on my "blog."  And I include the quotation marks because I think its misleading to call it that.  And here I am again "another shoddy attempt."  I only promise I shall try my best to deliver what I think I owe most of you: worth. Used to running once a day, usually in the mornings .. at or around 8AM, for about an hour or so.  Now, its morning and night, still about an hour each.  Works better with my schedule.  Even got my breathing pattern down. When work with LOTA demanded that I run at 630AM in order to meet our early-morning agendas, that was tough but it was refreshing.  Even now, I drive myself until my legs give out.  Im dehydrated and numb and I feel used.  Cant explain the satisfaction I get from that. Having trouble relating to people, lately.  Not sure if its me or whoever, but I just get bored and move on.  It must be me.  Dont care how dull I think the people are in or around my life, Id still like to think everyone has something to offer .. something notable. I remember this from what seems to be lifetimes ago ... "thinking of all of you some of the time and some of you all of the time." here's to a hopeful comeback.  and thanks for the memories. fueled by mediumcube.com ___________________________________________ _ copyright 2oo3 - 2oo8 © itsbeensurreal.com ® | all rights reserved | archived